Envious

What is meant for us will eventually find us. In fashion and other creative fields, we’re constantly surrounded by ceaseless streams of polished works, empowering success stories, and accolades seemingly unattainable. The curated perfection can foster a feeling within us that we often fear to talk about, envy. Envy isn't a feeling that occurs naturally within us, it is birthed. It is a starved child, relentless in its desire to be fed. Tucked away in the deep chasms of our mind, it screams in the endless abyss demanding to be acknowledged in its oppressively constant pursuit of our attention. 

Why is it possible that when we see someone achieve success, gain recognition, or receive opportunities, that such a thing is able to exist within us? Is It self-doubt, fear of being inadequate, burn out, or even a diminished sense of self worth? It is more than just a fleeting emotion. It eerily seeps between the slivers of our minds, otherwise unattended until amassing itself into the dark entity that shrouds our perspective, distorting how we see ourselves and the world around us. Envy thrives in the crevices of our insecurities, feasting on the moments where we find ourselves questioning our value or our ability to achieve. It grows to occupy volumes of our mind, not only stifling creativity, but also eroding the joy we once found in our craft.

It is a powerful force, that left unattended, will begin to manifest itself in our personal lives, consuming our mental and emotional energy. The envious mind suffers from feelings of bitterness and unhappiness. Enveloped in the habit of comparing oneself to others, we initiate the fraying of the bonds that hold our self esteem together, giving way to the fissures of chronic dissatisfaction that lay beneath us. The deeper we descend, the further our evolution into hostile creatures we become, developing personalities resembling a primitive state of mind. 

It exists as a painful reminder of our desires, a mirror frame of shattered glass. Each piece reflects what could have been, what should have been, but it also has the power to push us forward. The paradox of envy is deeply rooted in the human condition. It reminds us of our desires and aspirations while challenging us to find healthy ways to deal with feelings of inadequacy and dissatisfaction. We are all blessed with the ability to create beautiful things, but sometimes our most beautiful creation must be ourselves. Imagine piecing together dreams shattered to curate a new reflection of yourself. One that, albeit formed from the shards of disdain, now has the ability to project inspiration, love, and care. By embracing its lessons rather than succumbing to its parasitic symbiosis of our minds, we can use envy as a tool for self-discovery and progress.

Managing the paradox is tuning the static, both the energy that we intake and transmit. Set the stations of your mind to practice admiration over envy. Allow the frequencies of admiration to broadcast your celebration of others successes while using them as inspiration to fuel your own growth. In creative spaces, trends shift quickly and visibility is everything, and in turn envy can feel overwhelming. Envy will always exist in creative spaces, but it doesn’t have to control us. We can focus on our own craft, celebrate the successes of others, and turn envy into a tool for growth. For without growth, what chance is there to engage the complexity that bounds us? 

“Find the courage to pursue that private and very personal becoming no matter how strange and unfamiliar the outcome may prove. If only because he recognizes that what must always deny us in the end must forever remain strange and unfamiliar too. Anyone with even a flicker of desire to fashion something beyond the pettiness of themselves, make of this world enough of another world, a world enough to again experience for the first time.”